To be fair, before I married Carlos I should have known I would wind up a bike widow. At that point...I guess it could be said that he had terminal bike riding? I don't think I quite realized then the extent to which biking would take over our (erm, his) life, it hasn't all been bad. For example:
- If he is going to have another lover, wouldn't you want it to be his bike? Yes your husband is gone for hours on end, but he comes home smelling in such a way that you can be sure no one else has had or would have sex with him while he was gone. Mountain bikers seem to be a faithful bunch- but don't be fooled, it isn't loyalty- or rather, it isn't only loyalty. Some of it seems to be a simple cost/benefit analysis. Mistresses cost time and money. Time better spent biking. Money better spent on bike parts. Why add into your schedule another person to complain they never see you when you can just get a new bike fork?
- You always know his weakness. This leads to a lot of useful conversations. Case in point: "You know, if we were to have another baby you would probably need a new mountain bike, huh?" Then just sit back and let the magic happen.
- Your husband actually looks really good in spandex. Yes, even the weird full-leg unitard thing. How many women can say that about their 30-something hubby?
- A few off-hand words can make him swoon. A simple comment while in the car, something along the lines of "psh, honey look at that roadie wearing a Camelback" both lets him know you are listening and reminds him why he married you.
- If the ecomomy ever gets really REALLY bad...you can insulate the house with the stockpiled issues of Bike, Mountain Bike, Dirt Rag, Mountain Bike Action, and still have plenty to burn for warmth. I am pretty sure we can go for an entire season just using magazines in a wood burning stove. Of course, he would have to be willing to part with them in order for this benefit to hold true.
- Good people. He could do way worse in the friend department. I hate to make such sweeping generalizations, but a biker's friends are fun and loyal. You never have to worry about your husband's friends leading him astray. Leading him to the bike store is a different story.
- If you are going to be a widow to something, it may as well be biking. Hunting widows have to deal with husbands who rub animal urine on themselves to mask their scent and the sight of a freshly bagged and not yet processed deer on top of what usually serves as her mini-van. World of Warcraft widows have to deal with...well...we will just leave that one be for now. Just trust me that it could be worse.
- If your husband comes home saying he wants to try something new...chances are he means he wants to buy a single speed.
4 comments:
Ha! Yes...so very true.
#7....yeah...we've been there.
I have a 7 too
Wahey, someone else who understands what my life has become!
My biker and I have just celebrated four years together (I'm still a relative newbie to this!) and I recently felt brave enough to utter the fateful words "Do you love me more than your bike?"
He said Yes!
Note I said 'bike' and not 'downhilling', 'riding', 'mountain biking' or anything along those lines.
Perhaps this is why I am (thus far) a successful MB WAG?
Cute! I enjoyed this read.
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