Fly

I've always loved music. Rather, I can't remember a time when I didn't. I remember getting Girls Just Want to Have Fun and Purple Rain on LP and reading the lyrics on the cover over and over and over. Since then, lyrics have always meant a lot to me. Carlos and I even "hear" music differently- he hears the melody, all I can hear are the words. So for the next couple of days I am going to indulge myself and just talk about some of my favorite song lyrics of all time.

Some artists and songs just speak to me. One is Nick Drake. He offed himself in his twenties, before reaching any monetary success but after writing some of the most breathtaking words ever put to music. Anyone who saw Nate's first birthday collage so long ago heard his song "in the morning" in the background. Anyone who remembers a VW commercial where people drive to a party and then turn around and go home has heard "pink moon"

Here is today's pick: Fly by Nick Drake

To listen and see pics of him: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ShXHW_FrlM

If you want to hear more, Pink Moon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE0ODrmaiFE

Please give me a second grace
Please give me a second face
Ive fallen far down
The first time around
Now I just sit on the ground in your way

Now if its time to recompense for whats done
Come, come sit down on the fence in the sun
And the clouds will roll by
And well never deny
Its really too hard for
to fly.

Please tell me your second name
Please play me your second game
Ive fallen so far
For the people you are
I just need your star for a day.

So come, come ride in my my street-car by the bay
For now I must know how fine you are in your way
And the sea sure as i
But she wont need to cry
For its really too hard for
to fly.

What did I do to deserve this man?

Something in a past life would be my only guess.


Today Nate asked me that beloved pre-schooler "why?" when I said I was going to the gym. I responded "so I can get pretty."

"that silly" Nate responded, to which Carlos added:

"That is silly. No one can get pretty by going to the gym. You either are pretty or you aren't. And you are pretty."


Swoon.

Sweet goodness

Last weekend Carlos mentioned in passing to his family that he was considering racing road as well as mountain bikes.

Anyone have a wall I can bang my head against?

Two children enter, one child leaves

Man I wish I owned a cam-corder.

My four year old and one year old were together in a pack-and-play, wrestling and tickling and laughing hysterically. All I could think was that it looked like a scene from a movie that could be called:

Mad Mom, beyond the playdome

All I needed was a Tina Turner wig as I was laying down the rules.

Somedays it is so good to be me.

The years go by

Not much to say today. My mother-in-law has a fractured pelvis and is bed bound. They don't know how she did it or what they are going to do about it yet.

It is so scary to me that my in-laws are in their 70s. All of my grandparents passed away before reaching that same age. The thought of losing one of Carlos' parents is pure pain. I have only had them for a dozen years, I need them for a lifetime more.

It is a great reminder that I am so lucky to have amazing in-laws who are such a part of my life.

they were yummy, but were they worth it?

last night with the girls I ate tortilla chips, salsa, pretzles, and watermelon. Aparently about 650 calories worth. and that isn't even trying to include the drink that I had. I think that there is something cosmically wrong with the world when more or less healthy snacks can derail your diet.

All I could think this morning when I added up the calories was "damn, I could have had a cheeseburger!"


mmmmmmmmmmm cheeseburger...

I'm *NOT* going to the gym tomorrow

Darn it, I won't! Which means I probably will.

Today marks the 8th day in a row of going to the gym. I mean to take a day off. I want to take a day off. But as I sit at home trying to study around two monkey-children I decide it will be so much easier to study at the Gym on one of the machines and off we go.

Really, it's not such a bad problem to have- but I am out of gym clothes and don't need all the extra laundry in my life ;)

no time to write for myself

Sometimes you look so small, need some shelter
Just runnin' round and round, helter skelter
And I've leaned on me for years
Now you can lean on me
And that's more than love, that's the way it should be
Now I can't change the way you feel
But I can put my arms around you
That's just part of the deal
That's the way I feel
I'll put my arms around you

I stand in front of you
I'll take the force of the blow
Protection

I stand in front of you
I'll take the force of the blow
Protection

Not mine, it is old Massive Attack. Good stuff.

Bar prep, day one

8.5 hours of studying.

my brain is mush. And the saddest part of all? Even if I get in a solid 8 hours on the 4 days a week that Carlos doesn't work, I am STILL about 20 hours a week behind the suggested study pace.

God, grace, and gifts- may they all work together and see me through this!

The truth of it

It doesn't matter how much you have come to terms with things
It doesn't matter how comfortable you are in your familial "skin"
It doesn't matter that she is the picture of health
It doesn't matter that in your head and heart you already know she is NT
It doesn't matter that her pedi has been saying since she was 6 months old that she is NT
It doesn't matter that the specialists and educators that work with your son all say she is NT
It doesn't matter that just as you love your son, you love her and would take whatever life throws at you
It doesn't matter that ten seconds later she was off doing something else

the truth of it is

that when you round the corner and see her sitting on the floor, spinning the wheels on an overturned toy car you feel like you have just been punched in the gut.